I graduated from group therapy!!!
And by graduated, I mean I quit.
It isn’t often that someone pushes me to the brink of snapping in public. As much as I complain that I feel like I’m losing control, I actually have quite a bit of control. I have, after all, been called a control freak. Alas, today was that day of being pushed just beyond the edge of my limit. The absolute saddest part of it for me, was that it was rather like a bug hitting your windshield in slow motion: I could see her baiting me, but it was just too late to curb my reaction. Lesson the first. I have a temper. Normally it’s under wraps, tied up in tight bondage straps, chained to the floor of a way-too small cage. Occasionally it breaks free. Today it did. I’m not sorry. I’m not even embarrassed. I’m.. rather amused.
According to the person who poked and prodded the bear, I’m a horrible person. I suppose that’s what I think and feel on a daily basis anyway, so having that thrown out verbally is interesting. I’m sure she felt an instantaneous rush of pleasure with throwing that thought into my head, along with the knowledge that I have intense ruminating thoughts. While I don’t doubt that she had at least an inkling, if not a purposeful intent of having me fester on the fact that I’m a horrible person (apparently karma’s her bitch and suckles the teat of her whim), I honestly have to say that I have zero fucks to give. I wasn’t actually going to write anything about this, except for the fact that I’m truly impressed that I haven’t focused on this since I got home. I’m over it. I genuinely could not care any less than I do. Which is AWESOME. Can I have an extra side of THAT to take home with me for next time? I discussed it with a few people, but it wasn’t a long discussion, just a few quick, “Hey, here’s this,” and that was it. I am impressed.
The therapist that runs the group is super nice, though it would be nice if she was a little more assertive. I kind of think her “everyone needs treated with love all the time,” mojo is a bunch of crap. If you’re a dick, you should get called out on it, but hey, I call myself out on it all the time, so no one else needs to (feel free). So, because she feels everyone needs to be more lovey, and work through their problems with each other, she thinks it’s a bad idea for me to quit. I, on the other hand, am a firm believer that if you simply cannot tolerate someone in a civil manner, that it is beneficial to everyone involved (including the rest of the group) if someone removes themselves from the situation. In this case, I feel it’s best for me to remove myself, I can only tolerate so much fabrication and drama. Besides, that gives me an extra 2 hours back per week that I can do my work.
So, I guess it’s time to retire that group therapy tag. Unless someone else needs to use it, because I’m done. Give me my gold star. Insert facetious grin here.