Let me start by saying, if you’ve read my previous entry, you may think I’m pro-suicide. Fuck that. I’m not. I’m not in any way pro-suicide. Get that dirty little notion out of your head. What I AM is anti-guilt when it comes to suicide. Don’t guilt trip someone because they can’t fight their disease anymore. They’re TRYING. Harder than you can imagine. I am anti-the entire demeaning nature of how we -as a society- treat those who kill themselves, or consider it, or attempt to take their own life. I am anti-articles written by people who supposedly (used to?) suffer from severe depression who say that with the right meds and therapy it can be cured. (CURED? BWAHAHA–no.) I am anti-the bullshit that mental disease isn’t as important as physical illnesses. Walk off your broken leg, asshole.
Now that we have that covered. WSPD can go fuck itself. Why? Because it brings out the worst kind of guilt; it brings the worst feelings of despair, despite the exact opposite intention. In this day and age of the internet, we all have (obviously) heard and use social media. I assume that’s how you stumbled upon this gem. So we’ll assume you’ve used Facebook, or at least understand the concept. Every time there’s an important “Message Day,” as I call them, the majority of our friends blanket our feed with the stereotypical “Here’s my status to show I care, I copied and pasted it, don’t share it, make sure you copy and paste it like I did.” message. This pokes my inner rabid bear. (If we’re being honest, that bear is a little closer to the surface than “inner.”)
On WSPD, about a dozen of my “friends” (yes, people I would like to think are actual friends, in theory, kind of, sort of, I guess not really, but we’ll get into that in a minute.) posted the standard status, something to the effect of “Today is WSPD, and it is something that affects us all in one way or another. So if you’re having problems, get help. Call the Suicide Prevention Hotline. (I think it had a number. Potentially.) To show I care, I copied and pasted this. To show you care, make sure you copy and paste this as well. Don’t just share it, copy and paste it to your status.” That’s great. Awesome. Yes, a phone call to the suicide prevention hotlines can help you. (A phone call to a suicide prevention hotline CAN HELP YOU.) Do you know what can help more? A phone call to a friend.
Here’s where that those quotation marks come into play around the words friends. Out of those dozen or so friends that posted that status? Amusingly enough. HILARIOUSLY so, even. All but two of them are people that I’ve tried to reach out to in times of break downs. And I don’t mean those little “I’m a little frustrated with things,” type day. I mean a “BAD. DAY.” I mean one of those days where I’m pretty sure the world is crashing, burning, going to fall into the sun, and I want to rip my hair from my head, I can’t stop crying, but I can’t cry anymore because I’ve cried so hard that I’m not entirely sure that I’m not bleeding from my eyes type days. And they have told me they were either too busy to talk to me, too tired, or just didn’t want to hear it-again. So my option is to sit, alone, and let my brain rot on itself. Or. Talk to a stranger. Talking to a stranger would work great for some people. For me? It induces a sense of NO that you have no idea. So no. I couldn’t.
So why can WSPD go fuck itself? Because it brings out the worst in us. It brings out the people who want to look and sound sympathetic to your feelings, while actually bringing you down because they remind you that in the long run you’re really alone. There really are SO MANY people out there that care, but because there’s this DAY, this ONE DAY, that is so out there for people to.. FUCK I can’t even words. For people to EXPLOIT the emotions and the NEED that we have, that it makes it harder for us to get the connections and help that we need. I get it. People need a day. They do. They feel that if we don’t have “A DAY” it isn’t real. But FUCK WSPD, because I shouldn’t have to say this.
I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SAY THIS:
EVERY DAY. SHOULD BE WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION DAY.
You should be there. If someone calls you and says they need to talk? You wake up. You put your video game on pause. You make the time. I am ALWAYS available. This is something that is VERY well known to everyone who knows me. ONE time have I ever not been able to do that when someone asked. I had a migraine, and couldn’t sit up or open my eyes without puking. I will still regret not finding away to his house when he said he needed me for the rest of my life. Don’t ever make the mistake of pretending you care to make yourself look cool on social media.
This in no way represents the rest of the people on this blog. Just me. I’m the only asshole here.