I’m giving up on you. And I am feeling so small. It was over my head. I know nothing at all.
I trust people on levels. I’ll tell certain people certain things of certain secrecy to decide whether or not they’re trustworthy. I have one secret that I’ve never told. Not so much a secret, but kind of? A combination of information that I’ve never.. Fuck it. I told someone something important. It’s the most important and devastating thing to me. And all I needed was for someone to know. And someone who had a clue check in on me and make sure I’d be alright. I’m a fucking idiot. I’m not making that mistake again. I’m trying to be fine. I’m shivering like I’m cold. The lights aren’t bright enough, but they’re too bright. I can barely keep my eyes open, and I know I’ll fall asleep here shortly, and it’s just going to suck. I’ve been fine for the last however long. It’s not easy, and it’s torturous, but it’s something I’ve obviously lived through, and not dead, so stronger, don’t they say?
And I will stumble and fall.
This is why I said it wasn’t important. Because I knew it wasn’t. I just didn’t mean it wasn’t important to me.